Thursday, October 18, 2012

oh what a difference a year makes

This was my expert pumpkin picker last year.

This is my expert pumpkin picker this year:

 What a difference a year makes!

Sometimes it feels like life before Sadira was here was AGES ago...and then other times it feels like she went from baby... toddler...

to kid... the blink of an eye!

Four years ago she looked like this:

Yet four DAYS ago she looked like this:

But wait there's more...

Four years ago:

Three years ago:

 Two years ago:

 Last year:

This year:

 Crazy, right?!?!

What's that you say? Do that one more time?

Okay, here we go...

First fall:

 Second fall:

Third fall:

 Fourth fall:

 Fifth fall:

The weird thing is, I no longer get sad about her getting older.  In a very strange way, I'm actually looking forward and excited for this birthday.

I've even slipped up twice and referred to her as "my five year old," which prompts a quick response of, "Mooooom, I'm not five YET...."

It's so weird to me because I had SUCH a hard time with her turning one.  I cried all day, everytime someone said "Happy Birthday!" I'd burst into tears.  I couldn't explain it, but I dreaded her getting bigger.  Babyhood happened so quickly.

When she turned two and three I wasn't AS emotional, but I still found myself avoiding pictures of her when she was younger.  I didn't even ENJOY looking at her baby pictures, it was sad and depressing in an almost macabre kind of way.  As if that baby no longer existed, and this child is what remains in her place.

Weird, right?
Even as recent as last year I had a mini-freak out about her getting yet another year older.

This year is so different.

I guess I've just accepted that the passage of time is unavoidable.  I don't mourn for my younger years when I turn another year older...I celebrate it, and talk about it, and annoy all of my co-workers with my incessant commentary about why on earth should I mourn my daughter getting older?

I'm just not going to.

Instead of mourning the baby and toddler that I used to have...

 I'd rather celebrate the amazing child that I have now.

I can't wait for her to turn five. :-)


Emily S. said...

Such a fun post!! I love that you've managed to maintain this tradition all along so far. KEEP IT UP! It is so cool! And AMEN, sister. I feel the same way. I miss the little-boy stuff, but Noah just gets cooler and cooler. I revel in his growth now. :)

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